Neuro-Spicy Zebras

Finding home in my neuro spicy herd 

I used to think that I was a terrible horse. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t get how to look like a horse, sound like a horse or move like a horse in such a way that I would be welcomed into a herd of other horses. 

I finally figured out that I am not a broken horse, I am a perfectly fine zebra. 

Through becoming a neurodiversity coach and being with so many other people who are much like me, it's like looking in a mirror.  I have also learned that other people like me, other zebras, speak my language. Learn like me, think like me. In them, I have found my herd. It's like coming home.

Being welcomed in as someone who is automatically accepted, understood and valued is not something that neurodiverse people are used to. 

We have spent our whole lives feeling like we don’t quite understand what is going on in social situations. How we are supposed to act, move seamlessly into jobs, have conversations that are awkward no matter what we try. 

Spending untold amounts of energy pretending to fit in if we are lucky enough to be able to fake it, we come home wiped out from holding it together in social spaces. Like wearing a corset all day long, barely able to breathe and not knowing why we are so tired at the end of the day. 

Being with a group of people that are zebras as well is like being able to take that corset off and exist as I am.

Not pretending, just being my neurodiverse self, in all my sparkly feral fairy glory. 

Now that understanding of neurodiversity is so much more known, there are still things that need to be understood for us zebras. 

1. With an unemployment rate of 85% for some neurodivergent people, how do we learn how to speak horse, when we only know the language of zebras? 

   
   

2. How do we keep from getting trampled by all the horses out there?

   
   

3. How do we navigate adulthood in a way that allows us to flourish and thrive?

   
   

4. How do we find other zebras to find community with?

   
   

5. How do we engage in self-care in a way that actually restores us and doesn’t feel like we are adding yet another thing to the pile of stuff we have to do?

   
   

6. How do we help our kids thrive as well since neurodivergency is genetic?

   
   

7. How do we find calm and regulation, when our nervous system is on overdrive or under drive?

8. How do we help our children learn things that we were not given as children?

Coaching with a neurodivergent coach and psycho-education can help so much.

"A secure attachment is the most important foundation we can offer to our children. It's every bit as vital as nutrition, healthcare, and education. In fact, it just might be more potent than any of those necessities"

Raising a Secure Child- Glen Cooper, Kent Hoffman, Bert Powell